copyright
1996 Randam music
words by Rand Bellavia and Adam L. English
music by Adam L. English and Rand Bellavia
Performed by Ookla The Mok (Rand Bellavia, Adam English, and Luis
Garcia)
R = Rand Bellavia
A = Adam English
L = Luis Garcia
A: We were doing Mok 1 in the Ookla-mobile
L: And Rand was at the wheel
R: With gear and clothes and Adam crammed against the windshield
A: We were gonna filk until the break of dawn
L: We're going to the con
R: Luis Tomas Garcia had his Sandman T-shirt on
A: Rand was driving I was playing my guitar
L: And I was in the car
R: And then we stopped
A: And that's when Rand said,
R: "I don't know where we are"
A: I was trying to get the map unfolded when I heard a sound
L: I looked around
R: And then I noticed that the car was lifted off the ground
All: What was going on how were we floating through the air?
All: Maybe it has to do with that flying saucer over there?
A: Hold on this might not be as bad as it seems
L: What do you mean?
R: We'll miss the con!
L: What are you on?
R: We're in a tractor beam!
R: Luis looked down and marvelled at the endless rows of corn
L: "That's a lot of corn!"
A: And Rand beaped out the rhythm the theme of Close Encounters on the horn
R: Adam was trying to teach his fingers what to do
L: "Na noo! Na noo!"
A: As we docked aboard what appeared to be an interstellar zoo
R: I turned the car off and we timidly disembarked
L: "We're double parked!"
A: Gaping bewilderedly around this cosmic Noah's Ark
R: And that's when Adam walked away without a glance
L: I peed my pants
A: I couldn't help it I was in some kind of weird hypnotic trance
A: I woke up in a room with candles lit and muzak on
A: I was lying on a bed with nothing but my tube socks on
A: I saw a shapely silhouette in the door
L: She was a ten!
R: An alien!
A: I was stiffer than Al Gore
A: We didn't have a common culture or a common tongue
A: We didn't have a thing in common as I've already sung
A: We didn't have an ounce of mutual respect
All: But we had sex
All: We had sex
All: Sex
All: We had sex
R: And then a hooded stranger took me by the hand
L: "Don't leave me Rand!"
A: But Rand just followed knowing that Luis would understand
R: She asked me if I wanted latte or Darjeerling tea
L: "I'm thirsty!"
A: They quickly saw they had compatible personalities
R: We had the same opinions we shared the same philosophy
R: We had the same Snoopy lunchbox we watched the same shows on TV
R: We both liked movies with cheap special effects
A&L: But we did not have sex
R: ("She said she just wanted to stay friends")
A&L: We did not have sex
R: ("She said she'd write me but she never did")
A&L: No sex
R: ("She gave me her phone number but when I called it it was a laundromat")
A&L: We did not have sex
A: With Rand and Adam gone Luis was all alone
L: "E.T. phone home!"
R: He was in the dark and all he could hear was Adam moan
A: Things were looking grim for the drummer of Ookla the Mok
L: "Help me Spock!"
R" Next thing he knew Luis was on all fours stripped to his jock
L: I was more scared than I had ever been in all my life
L: I didn't want to spend the next forty years as E.T.'s wife
A: Well maybe this isn't quite as bad as it seems. . .
L: At least yours was a female!
A&R: And they had sex
L: ("Mine was a huge purple guy")
A&R: They had sex
L: ("And he had this huge, long...ANTENNAE")
A&R: Sex
L: ("And these bulging, humongous...EARS")
A&R: They had sex
L: ("It was horrible...I'm never doing that again!")
A: It ended just as quickly as it had begun
L: You mean YOU'RE done
R: It was more confusing than the ending of 2001
A: I had a good time
R: And I gained a friend
L: It was a bad joke but I got it in the end