Cowboy Secret Space Detective

copyright 1993 Urko Aldo music
words by Rand Bellavia and Adam L. English
music by Adam L. English and Rand Bellavia
performed by Ookla the Mok

I want to go where no man's ever gone before
And I want to wield my evil father's laser sword
One little step for me
Gets bigger when there's no gravity
And I'm gonna fly high in the sky faster than the speed of thought
I am gonna be an astronaut

I want to be the fastest draw in the wild, wild West
In boot and spurs and a ten-gallon hat I'll be well dressed
I'll catch the bandits and throw them in jail
I'll win a shoot out at the OK corral
Oh bury me not on the lone prairie don't fence me in, Roy
I want to be a cowboy

People always ask me, "When you gonna grow up
And when you do what will you be?"
That's when I always tell that if I'm gonna grow up
I'll do it on my own sweet time and what I become is still up to me

In the sandbox and on the jungle gym
Barbie dolls and Tonka trucks were made for her and him
I don't know I don't know
But you just ask my mom and she says I can be whatever I want to be
And you just ask your dad if you can come over and play with me

I want to say, "Land ho! Argghh! Avast!" and "Batten down the hatches!"
And I want to have a peg leg, a hook for an arm, and two eyepatches
I'll run you through then make you walk the plank or
I'll tie you to a two-ton anchor
I'll be a pirate I'll show no fear
I want to be a buccaneer

I wanna be a photo-journalist college kid
And I wanna get bitten by a radioactive arachnid
One lesson that'll be learned by me
Is that with great power comes great responsibility
And I'll have an uncanny spider-sense and web-shooters on my hands
I wanna be Spider-Man!

Cowboy Secret Space Detective Super Private Eye - The Director's Cut

Alternate verses we've been known to sing on occassion

I want to have a Stetson hat and a long trench coat
And I want to find a case-solving clue on a bloodstained note
Mysterious dames will hire me
To solve their dead uncle's mystery
And I'll carry a gun but I'll only shoot the bad guys
I want to be a private eye

I want to arc through the air with the grace of a falcon
Then I want to jump into the arms of Maculay Caulkin
While the other kids are dancing to U2
I'll be spinning round and round in a tutu
And I'm gonna be as limber as fully cooked semolina
I want to be a male ballerina

I want to sell penny candy for a dollar ten
And I want to say, "Thank you and please come again"
I'll work all the time but I don't mind cause one day
I'll sell the Quickie Mart to my brother Sanjay
And I'll carry the torch of the Pakistani businessman
I want to be Apu Nahasapeemapetilon!

I want to have a cool, dark beard and receding bangs
And I want to pose for an album cover in vampire fangs
I'll be a hit because my plan is fool-proof
I'll filk at cons and change my name to Moonwulf
And I'll sound so good that you'll demand an encore
When I grow up I want to be Michael Longcor

Return to the Super Secret Lyric Index.