Ookla The Mok

oh okay LA | Smell No Evil | Super Secret | Less Than Art | Poor Man's Copyright

Adam's Marcon 36 Report

[1-1] Rand got to Marcon first. "What a long trip!" he said [1-2]. "I think I'll read a book [1-4]."

Rand met the Warriors Three, Lyle, and the crew in the now-infamous Room 704 [1-9] [1-15] [1-3] [1-22].

[1-7] After a routine hernia check, the room party could begin!

[2-13] These are the posters that were hung to advertise the room party. These posters (hereafter referred to as "Exhibit A") were hung all over the con by Lyle and the crew.

The party, advertised as occurring from "9 pm till dawn" was over by 10:30. (On a completely unrelated topic, our beer supply ran out at the exact same time.) During this 90 minute period, the party was shut down by hotel security five times.

All in all it was a huge success. The site of great merriment... [1-11] [1-19] [1-20] [1-13]

...and attended by all manner of interesting folk [2-12] [2-3] [1-18] [1-17] [2-4] [3-2] [3-11] [1-14] [1-8] [2-6] [2-8], including the one and only Dr. Demento, star of the internationally famous radio program, The Howard Stern Show [2-7].

The Good Doctor stayed for forty-five minutes [2-1]. He schmoozed with the guests [2-5] [2-9], drank beer [2-2], glowed in the dark [2-7], and had what I'm told was a scintilating conversation with Rand about how great we are [1-21]. I wish I had been there--that's my favorite topic.

Rand gave Dr. D the new album, some T-shirts, and a little kiss on the foreheard [1-23] [1-24] [1-25] [1-22].

Other celebrity attendees included big-league BNF Michael "Moonwulf" Longcor [3-7], Peter the Fan [2-15], movie and video game star Lara Croft [3-2], author F. Paul Wilson [5-29], science fiction writer Robert Jordan. [3-1]. And some really drunk guy [1-20]!

And check it out [2-24] [2-25]! Actual self-professed lesbians really really wrestling! And you thought we were making it up.

At 10:15, I arrived [3-12]!

Almost everyone was glad to see me. I brought with me the rest of the crew, including Keith [3-10] and Jeff Hartz, who's this Timelord we know.

Then, suddenly, it was Saturday afternoon [4-3]! Chris had arrived [5-22] that morning. He was really tired from driving all night [4-4] and his girlfriend Ariel was exhausted from carrying in all his drums [4-5] [4-2] [4-1].

Even as we hustled to set up, sneak in a quick sound check, and set up the stage show [4-7], the big Union E hall filled with people [4-8]. It was SRO by the time we were supposed to start. I'm pretty good at guessing how many people are in a crowd, and I'd say there were around 57 thousand people there.

[4-16] There was this girl in the front row and I could see right down her shirt. Obviously, so could Rand [4-20].

Dr. Demento introduced us [4-9] [4-10] [4-11]--How cool is that?

We opened with Hockey Monkey [4-14] [4-13] --the crowd went wild!! Well, wild for Ohio, which is to say they just sat there [4-15]. But you could tell in their hearts they were flailing around like gibbons. We cut off the ending of Super Powers and went right into Number One [4-17] [4-18]--it's so cool no one can stand it!

It's the Super Secret Mystery Box of Mystery [4-7]! I wonder what's inside [4-25]?

Why, I'll bet it's chock full of nerds [5-13]!

Super Skrull, Aquaman, and Medieval Evil Knievel, to be precise [4-27] [4-28] [4-30] [4-31]!

We rocked most triumphantly [5-1] [5-2] [5-3] [5-4] [5-18] [5-30].

We got all sweaty [5-7] [5-11].

We did the heavy metal overbite [5-6].

We jumped around like Red Hot Chili Peppers as screaming teenagers threw their frilly underthings at us (not pictured).

All told, it was pretty much the greatest rock performance of all time [5-20] [5-25].

Dr. Demento sat in the front row for the whole concert, then stayed to chat with me afterward. I found him to be a singularly pleasant fellow. Richard Hatch (the real one) stopped by to see what all that racket next to the Green Room was, and we're told he laughed his fool head off. Some raving fan gave him a CD.

Everyone partied until the sun came up! Except for Rand, who retired about 10:30 complaining of a sore throat. But the rest of us were doing jello-shooters off the backs of naked stripper girls with movie stars until well into the next day! (photo not available)

It was a great time for all concerned. Thanks to the crew, the Warriors Three, the folks at Marcon, and the fans for making this the most successful Ookla show ever! [2-16]

oh okay LA | Smell No Evil | Super Secret | Less Than Art | Poor Man's Copyright