| Number One | |
copyright 1995
Randam music
words by Rand Bellavia and Adam L. English
music by Adam L. English and Rand Bellavia
performed by Ookla the Mok
I am a gambler
I am fortune's son
I am the first mate
Of the NCC-1701D
Well I had an
encounter at Farpoint Station
With a little touch of constipation
While I was waiting to come aboard and meet my crew
But when the captain arrived I had this feeling inside
That there was something that I needed to do
And it's true
But when I got to
my quarters there was something missing
I didn't have a pot to piss in
But I was too proud to ask an ensign where to go
So I flashed with a smile and held it in for awhile
And tried not to let it show
But you know
I can't sit down
I'm in some condition
How'd Kirk survive on a
five year mission?
This new assignment is getting harder to endure
Cause I ain't feeling so great and I'm putting on lots of weight
I couldn't make it through a three hour tour
That's for sure
And now I've gained twenty pounds and I
grew a beard
How could I shave without a bathroom mirror?
If I don't get some relief I'm gonna split my skin
'Cause I'm as round as a globe and if I don't launch a probe
Soon I'll weigh enough to be my own twin
My transporter twin
TROMBONE SOLO!
I am a gambler
I am fortune's son
I am the first mate
Of the NCC-1701D
